Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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