I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
