Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
