wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize