We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
