Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize