It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
