I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize