we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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