I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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