if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
