so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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