I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
