She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
