Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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