winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
