Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
