you have to choose: penises or morals?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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