He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
