And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
