HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
