we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
