Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
