Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
