what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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