I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
