Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize