Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
