Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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