dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I cannot find my penis.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
