Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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