Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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