Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
