Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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