You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
