I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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