the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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