so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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