Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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