Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
