just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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