He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
