So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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