But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Pants are for mortals
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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