so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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