State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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