i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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