just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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