i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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