I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
