Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
