Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My cat gives me a boner
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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