do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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