how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize