The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Welp...herpes.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
