Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
