you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
