Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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