Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
