If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
